90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days viewers originally made Ximena a villain, but now they sympathize with her struggle over marrying Mike.

Mike Berk is preparing to propose to Ximena Morales Cuellar on 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days season 5, and viewers finally understand the difficult decision from Ximena’s perspective. Upon the couple’s 90 Day Fiancé debut, audiences immediately sided with kind-hearted American Mike over the Colombian single mother of two who openly dated him to furnish her home. However, viewers have been realizing they might have been too harsh with their initial characterization of Ximena.

Though Ximena has been doing her best to force a connection with Mike, she admitted to not being physically attracted to the American upon his arrival in Colombia. Unfortunately for Ximena, Mike has not helped matters with his bad habits. Ximena already has two young sons to care for and clean up after, and the mother voiced her concerns that Mike’s hygiene issues would make him more like another child than a co-parent. Mike was called out for his farting and burping, as well as being extremely messy. Viewers sided with Ximena when Mike stuffed a used tissue in the backseat of a public cab. While Mike has blamed his cleanliness issues on having ADHD, some feel that’s just an excuse. Nevertheless, Ximena’s father gave Mike his blessing to propose. Meanwhile, Ximena’s parents urged her to think of her children and not herself when making a decision.

U/BreakingGaga took to Reddit to voice their sympathy for the pressure Ximena feels to commit to Mike. “I feel for her in the scene where she’s being pressured to marry someone she doesn’t love- because she knows it would be better for her kids,” the user wrote in response to Ximena’s parents’ advice to put the needs of her sons above her own. While some viewers continue to harshly judge the mother, others have voiced their understanding of the difficult life Ximena is facing as an impoverished single mother. “Unfortunately, this is the situation in a lot of poor countries,” one top commenter wrote. Other commenters compared Ximena and Mike to Annie and David Toborowsky. Though Annie wasn’t initially that into David, she appeared to have warmed up to him for a successful franchise marriage. In contrast, Rosemarie Vega refused to compromise her values for a different life with Big Ed Brown.

While some viewers believe Ximena is using Mike since she is seeking a better life for her family and not following her heart, other commenters pointed out that marriage comes in different forms and for different reasons. “Not everyone has the same view on love and marriage. A lot of Americans have this fairy tale view of how love and marriage should occur,” one commenter observed, while they added that marriage can also be a practical decision. Other viewers pointed out that it isn’t wrong for Ximena to consider the impact marriage has on her family, especially her children. “It’s sad, she doesn’t have many options in life. She’s not educated; it’s hard to be upwardly mobile if you are not educated and well-connected in Colombia,” another commenter wrote. Overall, Ximena received sympathy from viewers who could understand her situation.

Rather than being a user who is trying to con Mike, Ximena is starting to be characterized as a single mother who is just trying to make the best choice for her children. While commenters have been harsh with their criticism of Ximena since they are concerned about her breaking Mike’s heart, others think she has been rather frank and open about her living situation and needs. Although Ximena waited until Mike was with her in person to reveal her baggage, including being willingly sterilized and having lived with a hitman, she is putting all of her cards on the table before committing to Mike. Therefore, if Mike chooses to propose to Ximena, many 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days viewers believe he would be happy if she said yes regardless of the reasoning behind her decision.